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On Domestic AssaultRichard J. Gelles and Murray A. Strauss of the University of Rhode Island and the University of NH have performed an exhaustive, years-long study of domestic violence. Their findings are used extensively by the FBI and police and are considered to be the most accurate in the field. They have found that women and men are equally likely to engage in domestic assault. Their figures show equality of violent tendencies and actions, however women are more likely to be injured and need medical care if assaulted, a finding that would seem self-evident given men’s greater size and strength. These facts raise a number of questions as to our present handling of domestic violence incidents: Why, since domestic violence is not a gender specific crime, are men more frequently charged than women? Since women are statistically more likely to be injured in domestic violence situations, and obviously can be more easily injured, why when an incident of violence that produces visible injury only to the male partner occurs are we inclined to charge him for assault if he defends himself? Why are men who are accused of domestic assault automatically treated as if they were guilty and women automatically given the benefit of the doubt unless the evidence irrefutably proves the woman to be the perpetrator and the man the victim? I am blessed with peace within my own home; however the reality of our present justice system forced me to make a devil’s choice in regards to my adult son while he was living in Massachusetts. He wished to marry his girlfriend. They had ignored my advice and had a child before their relationship had had time to mature. She had attacked him in anger multiple times, with injuries to him on some of those occasions. I have maintained for years that fathers are vital in the health and well-being of children and an intact family is better for those children than one divided. I have always told my children I would support them in their choice of a partner no matter who that partner might be. Suddenly, because of the way domestic violence is handled in our justice system at this time, I was confronted with an impossible situation. I had to withhold my approval on my son’s wish to marry. This decision caused much pain and anguish in our family. My son refused to speak to me for months until his intended bride attacked him again and he saw for himself that the marriage could not work as things stood. I told him at the time of my refusal to bless that marriage that my reason was I feared that if he married this woman he would wind up either dead or in jail – dead from her attack – in jail if he defended himself. No parent should have to make the choices I made. If our system of justice equally upheld the basic human right of innocence until proven guilty in the case of men and women, and upheld equality under the law for both genders in cases of domestic violence I would not have been forced to make such a choice. I could trust in my son’s ability to protect himself and our family’s ability to help this woman heal and find better ways to make her feelings known. A marriage might have been possible and a child might have been able to grow up with both parents under such conditions. Because the reality is that men are perceived to be more violent this equality of rights does not exist and I had to choose for my son’s safety short term rather than my granddaughter’s long term well-being as her long-term well-being was unlikely in any case. A situation that creates the necessity for such a choice is not created and maintained by people of good will toward society. It is a cruel system that enhances the power of a few at the expense of the many. It should not be tolerated and would not exist if men were treated with the same respect as women in cases of domestic abuse and assault. GENDER LIESWomen and men have got to be loving this battle of the sexes. I refuse to believe that either one of them, with the exception of a few individuals that never seem to make headlines, has any true interest in equality. Deep down they are doing everything within their power to maintain gender inequality, women even more so than men. How does that equate to the feminist line of equal rights for all? “Equal rights require equal responsibilities.” This is a no-brainer statement right up there with, “Men and women think and act differently.” How much research money and hours have been devoted to discovering that gem? Stated in general terms, you’d be hard pressed to find an argument on either, but anyone stating the same concept with specific details dealing with a real situation will face a verbal lynch mob in seconds. Men do complain about this, but I’ve ceased buying their complaints as they so frequently come in the form of a masculinized rehash of the feminist victimological line. Ha! How’s that for made up terminology – pretty snazzy, donchya think? In short, they’re trying to stake out a claim to a right to special treatment by way of their gender – covert power masquerading as victimhood. Are you sick of it? You should be, especially if you have children or plan to live long enough to see our present crop of kids grow into adults. We’ve got a huge bill coming due. Let’s start with women’s rights since that’s the one most agreed upon as needed and overdue – and it is, but what is being promoted as a quest for equality by women today is anything but. I want equal rights – as a woman, not as a pseudo man. My body is different from a man’s. I find it necessary to point that out simply because our latest batch of feminists are functioning on the apparent belief that that difference does not matter, except when it grants women reasons why they should be hired on a job they are not physically able to do. Then it’s “Well you can’t expect a woman to be able to do that, we’re weaker, so you have to bend the rules.” Can I just point out here that there are men who aren’t all that physically strong as well – if they don’t get the job they are not able to do why should a woman? I’m not thrilled with the idea of being rescued from the third floor of a burning building by a female firefighter who was hired despite the fact that she is incapable of carrying me over her shoulder down the stairs. So what’s she going to do, pull me out Winnie the Pooh style with my head going bump, bump, bump down each step? Or do I just get to stay there and fry? We’ve had some real screw-ups thanks to this quest to render everyone equal – petite woman cop overpowered by large male prisoner who then escapes – oops, they gave her the job but neglected to handicap the prisoner sufficiently. Dirty Harry said it best: A man’s got to know his limitations. We are not equipped to be anything we want to be. I am a 5’ 8” 59 year old woman. I can not play pro football. I know someone who does and watching him play it looks like something that I’d love, but if I put every bit of my effort into that for the rest of my life I would never make it. I can’t do it, not with this body! If he were to put every bit of effort into accomplishing one of the things I’ve done – giving birth to 6 children, I’ll tell you right now it wouldn’t work. We need to be honest and recognize that some limitations are imposed by the type of body we possess, whether that be short, tall, sick, healthy, young, old, male or female. It’s the physical universe, people. You can sit there and declare that it’s all just an agreed upon reality – and you’d be right, but that’s the reality we are living at this time. You don’t like it – quit planet earth and go play in a different reality. Oh shit – that sounded too much like, “If you don’t like this country go live in Russia,” didn’t it? Eh, this stuff ain’t called “Rantings” for nothin’ Responsibility carries with it a loss of protections. For a grown childless woman that is fine, and it should be such, but women still bear children. We still breast feed those children despite the corporations that make baby formula’s best efforts to stop us, and children still do best growing up in a close, stable family with a mom they can run to when needed. Why not dad? Because most dads don’t want to take that role, that’s why. Because there are such things as careers, because reality bites – get over it. Guys might say they would love to stay home with the kids and there are some who are actually good at the mind-numbing art of juggling poopy diapers, full vacuum cleaner bags, a sink of dirty dishes, homework overdue, cat vomit on the couch, dinner that refuses to cook itself and the plumber at the door. I know one man who is incredible at it, but even he didn’t choose it – he was tricked into it. It’s maddening work. It’s lonely work. It’s frequently brainless work and it is the most important work there is. Actually giving birth physically to a child creates a pathway in the mind that makes it easier to endure and excel at that job – at least it does when it is a minimally interfered with birth. From what I’ve seen, I’m not convinced the same happens for women who have been “delivered” of their children. Before you start the lynch mob, labor room staff, I didn’t say I’m right on that – I just said I’m not convinced. Chill! The fact that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world is being forgotten and along with that the protections that should be extended to mothers. Our children are our future. How they are raised affects how we will live decades from now. Their welfare should take precedence over all other considerations. In the old days there were rules. You protected women and children first. You would lay down your life for the safety of our future as a species. Not now. Now we have men who declare that it’s not fair that women are saved first from a sinking ship, making men the expendable gender. Men should not be expendable. I guess the women and men should take the lifeboats and let the kids stay on board to handle things as best they can. News flash: As soon as children come into the picture, all adults are expendable. Who the hell do you think is going to take care of you if you survive to old age – other feeble old farts like yourself? The way our children are valued now is directly related to how you will be treated later. If such a hypothetical ship existed with my partner and me on it, along with our children, and the lifeboats could not take us all, I’d want to be the one who would stay behind. I’d rather fight for my life knowing my partner and children are safe than live by making the choice between them – and choosing the welfare of children is the only ethical and honorable choice, by the way. Consequently, what I’d want would not matter, because a man with any balls would feel the same way and if I were that man’s partner and that hypothetical ship were going down, and we had the hypothetical kids to save, I’d have to acquiesce to his wishes and take the bloody hypothetical life boat with those kids. I’d hate it but my feelings are as expendable as my body when it comes to the future of the species. I just have to add this – beyond the gender issue – only a coward would choose to be the one to be saved instead of being the savior – and cowards are not needed in this world – they take up oxygen that could be better utilized elsewhere. Damn, I’m glad this is all hypothetical. Life is full of hard choices and hard realities and the realities of child-rearing are one of those. We are not here as a species because we just materialized out of thin air. Pop – oh, there’s another human – where do they keep coming from? Oh, the stork brings them. Must be a big stork. You do know that’s how we got here, right? We were born of man and woman – there was always a man and a woman somewhere in the equation, usually a very horny man and woman who weren’t thinking about gender equality on any level at that moment. We were raised because that same man and woman were willing to be expendable. They loved us enough to work and sacrifice to raise us – if we were lucky. Our mothers and fathers sacrificed their lives for the future. That’s how the planet we live on works. “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.” “The Prophet” by Kahlil Gibran More Gender LiesOhmygawd-you’ve-got-to-be-kidding! Now let me get this straight . . . If a woman hits a man, gives him a black eye and he defends himself but doesn’t hurt her in any way – they both get charged for domestic assault. Are you freakin’ kidding me??!! No, I’m not making this up. It happened to a friend recently – different injury, but the same concept and now I’m finding out that it’s happening all over. If there’s a physical fight in the family and the guy doesn’t run the hell out of his own house right away or just take the beating he’s toast. Men are moaning and groaning about this one, but wait a minute . . . it’s mostly men who are enforcing this. The majority of the law-makers, cops, and judges are men. Who is really benefiting here and who is getting the shaft ? Ah, but I’m jumping ahead of myself. I was talking to my friend who wound up with the domestic assault charge. He’s had his awareness raised a bit since then. He’s decided that if a woman hits him in the future he’s going to hit her back since he gets in trouble anyway. He said that would only be treating women equally. Wow, that’s a big leap for this macho “can’t hit a woman” kind of guy – but I know him – don’t believe a word of it. If he really was likely to hit a woman back I’d have stressed to him that he should be extra careful not to hook up with the sort of woman who would hit him in the first place because if he does hit back he’ll be saying “hi” to the inside of a jail cell quicker than you can say “Who’s your mama?”. I never bothered to tell him that because I know damn well that as soon as he’s got some sweet thing in his sphere of protection again he absolutely will not be able to bring himself to hit her. Me he could hit, but then, he respects me. There was a time when he wouldn’t have been able to hit me either – I’m a woman after all. It took a lot of time with this man to get him up to seeing and treating me as an equal. Can we just get off pretending for a moment – just for a little bit – that lowered standards and special rights bestowed upon one group by another group is actual equality? That’s not equality. That’s what you do for children and animals. “There, there, dear, don’t fuss, you don’t have to keep up with the big guys. We’ll slow down, and if you still whine we’ll carry you.” Auuugh – this makes me crazy! First of all, is there anyone here willing to admit that men, pound for pound, are stronger than women – and they generally have more experience fighting. If you are willing to admit that, then you know damn well that if you have a domestic violence situation where the man is the only one that is physically busted up he held himself in extreme restraint during the altercation and the woman was out of control. If you can’t figure that out you need to go back and take that logic class in High School again. I’ve raised a number of teenagers so don’t even try to convince me that you can’t see that. I quit being that gullible years ago. So why should I have my shorts all in a bunch over this? It doesn’t affect me all that much . . . uh, yes it does. I have sons who are living in a society that does not hold the women they are with to the same standard that it holds men. I’ve already been forced once to make a devil’s choice in regards to my adult son while he was living in Massachusetts. He wished to marry his girlfriend. They had ignored my advice and had a child before their relationship had had time to mature. She had attacked him in anger multiple times, with visible injuries to his body on some of those occasions. Because of the way domestic violence is handled in our justice system at this time, I was confronted with an impossible situation. I had to withhold my approval of this marriage taking place. My son, understandably, refused to speak to me for months until his intended bride attacked him again and he saw for himself that the marriage could not work as things stood. I told him at the time of my refusal that my reason was I feared that if he married this woman he would wind up either dead or in jail – dead from her attack – in jail if he defended himself. That is a reality that should not exist and would not exist if women were held to the same standards as men – and who is it that is holding them to a different standard? Is it women? I certainly haven’t asked for special treatment, in fact, I hate this belief that I am not responsible for myself, even if I’m the aggressor. Doesn’t that imply that I’m . . . incompetent? Excuse me – I’m a perfectly competent adult. I know what I’m doing and I consciously choose to do it – and I should be held responsible for what I do, the same as any man. My husband doesn’t make me do things and he’s not senior to me, so if I whack him and bust his lip and he holds me to keep me from doing more damage – I should be arrested and he should not. How hard is that? Very if you are trying to covertly maintain a system in which women are inferior. Now see, y’all were likin’ me till I said that. It’s true and you know bloody well it’s true – and the women who have okayed this travesty or worse, promoted it, are acquiring power for themselves by selling out the rest of the female gender. Some of us who were young adults during the 60s and 70s fought long and hard to be taken seriously in a man’s world and now we’re watching much of the respect that we won melt away – aided and abetted by other women. Traitors! I took up medieval sword fighting a while back. It’s great fun – I highly recommend it, but I’m not very good at it yet. One day I went to fight and the leg protection that I had been borrowing till I could get my own was being used by someone else. It was fight with unprotected legs or don’t fight at all. I chose to fight, but like I said, I’m not very good yet so I took a lot of heavy hits, many of which were deflected by my shield but wound up connecting with the side of my leg. By that evening I had deep, black bruises that ran from the top of my left thigh nearly down to my ankle. It looked like I’d been kicked many times – hard. I was thrilled. Hey, to me that was a badge – proved I could take it, that I wasn’t going to wimp when the going got tough. It also meant I couldn’t go swimming for nearly a month and there was no way I would go to the doctor or the hospital for any reason because I didn’t want to chance my husband being arrested for domestic assault. With evidence like those bruises, who would believe me? I’d have to get a note from the man who was training me in sword fighting that I did indeed fight and I did at times have bruises. Think about that – I basically would need a permission slip from my teacher! Now see, that’s the kind of stuff that makes me a little crazy. I wouldn’t have to worry at all if I were a man. “Oh those, I got those bruises practicing sword fighting.” He’d be believed. Me – I’d be suspected of covering up for my husband. There’s only one reason for that – you can argue it till hell freezes over, but you know there’s only one way that reality can exist and that is because a woman is not seen as being as competent and capable as a man. My men friends moan and groan about the injustice of it all, about how they are guilty till proven innocent in the eyes of the law on any issue that involves gender. They are incensed at the way women can cry wolf and destroy an innocent man’s life so easily – and it’s true – women can, and some do. With one exaggeration or outright lie they destroy innocent men’s lives and destroy the credibility of women who really have been attacked or harmed. That is such an extreme violation of justice that there is no way it can exist without a hidden agenda holding it in place. Someone has got to be benefiting and the only women who benefit are the power hungry and the treacherous. I’m not benefiting and neither are any of my female friends that I’ve asked. We all hate this reality as much as the men who get caught up in it. We have fathers, husbands, lovers, brothers, sons. We don’t like this and – and we don’t wait till something happens to one of our own before we openly disagree with it. Now you men . . . I can’t say the same for you on this one. It’s been my observation that y’all don’t care till it’s your or a friend’s ass that gets bitten. What’s up with that? Ever heard the saying, “What goes around comes around.”? If we lived in a society where women were seen as equally capable, then charges of domestic assault leveled by a woman would require the same degree of proof as those leveled by a man and these injustices could not happen so easily. You don’t like the way men are treated by the law now? I don’t like it either and I’m doing something about it. What are you doing – hoping if you don’t make too much noise it will all go away? It won’t and if things continue as they are now it will eventually get around to nailing you. I promise . . . if you sit on your ass long enough, it will get you. The Angry LookFashion scene with brittle people Mannequin, a doll that moves Back again, now darling try Vacuity, the precious gift The angry look, think rejection Antagonistic stares look out The contrast and the paradox How does woman see herself Pouting, static, enameled faces This is all erotic power For every action, clear reaction But the look is only challenge Legal ProsLet’s not even pretend to be civilized here because I am not talking about any sort of civilized bitches. I detest legal prostitutes! Naw, I don’t mean working girls in Nevada. I mean those skinny, siliconed, polished and buffed women who marry for money. You know, the women who truly do fit the word “whore”. They give all of womanhood a bad name and then have the nerve to dish out advice to the rest of us on how to handle men. Don’t get me wrong. I have no quarrel with an honest call-girl. Just because I don’t have the temperament for that line of work does not make the women who do bad. Besides, a standard issue illegal style prostitute is a relatively righteous individual when you stand her up to the legal kind and make a comparison. She’s more honest. Hey, she lays it out right up front. You pay x number of dollars and you get x amount of fun for x amount of time – no hassel, no con job. Now if she was doing it all legal like, you would never know what really was being exchanged for what. “Oh honey, give me this. Oh honey I need that. Oh sugar, you’re so sweet. – You want me to do what!? Hell no! What do I look like, some kind of whore?” Well, now that you mention it --- Which brings us to the issue of delivering as promised. Illegal prostitutes usually deliver what they say they will. They could have some real problems if they don’t, but one of those legal whores? --- Oh no, un–uh. This would degraaade her you see. She’s not a common hooker, donchyaknow? Now if these women actually delivered value for value – let’s see – some of these bimbos make out with millions – man, we are looking at some seriously inventive pussy to earn that much. In reality, a man is fortunate not to get cut off. You can always tell a legal prostitute after she has been married for a while. She has that fresh out of the box look, like she doesn’t actually have sex, and guess what, she probably doesn’t. She most likely puts out no more than is absolutely necessary to keep that money flowing. This kind of woman could put the toughest union negotiator to shame! Let’s also not loose sight of the fact that these legal bitches are stupid when compared to their harder working illegal peers. They are! Their whole income is based on one client and they are on the job 24 hours a day – 7 days a week. Now, this does not make economic sense. There’s poor job security and l-o-n-g hours; yet they would advise the rest of us and we actually think it is the illegal variety of bought pussy that deserves our disdain. Actually, the lack of fair exchange is the hallmark of legalized prostitution. This is so true that even when one decides to be more honest about things she still can’t bring herself to put her own body on the line. Oh no, she will organize other women to do that and take a cut from each. Then she will call herself a “Madam” Let’s get some definitions straight here. A “madam” is an older prostitute who can no longer perform well herself, but she knows the ropes and can devote her time now to helping the younger women who work for her with organization, advice and help. She knows what the job is and where the dangers lie, she has done it herself for many years. Someone who would never, and has never done this sort of work themselves, but encourages and guides others to do the work and then takes a cut is not a madam. The correct word for that is “pimp”. Additional high-society sounding descriptive words do not make a madam out of a pimp no matter how you twist the story. But boy, if some female pimp can get enough press there are a whole cadre of legalized hookers out there ready to pick her brain for more tricks of the trade, more ways to get paid for putting out as little as possible. For every woman that is bought there must be someone willing or self absorbed enough to do the buying. I waste absolutely no tears on these women’s husbands. It is scandalous the way so many get taken to the cleaners in nasty divorces and I do feel for any children involved. No question about it, it is not right; but honey, you are the one who chose an easy substitute for the hard work that goes into maintaining a real human relationship. You are the one willing to pay for a living and breathing mannequin. High maintenance, is she? As my dad used to say, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” My daughter had a run in with one of these trained wallets. He was fresh off a divorce from what he described as a 24 carat gold digger and claimed to want a kind sincere woman like herself. My daughter was cautious, but the man was attentive and persistent and, oh yes, he knew what he wanted and he wanted her. Eventually she was convinced of his sincerity and gave him her heart, at which point he started treating her like bought property. My daughter was never raised to go for the wallet and had no idea what was happening. She didn’t stand a chance. I was pretty puzzled by what she was dealing with – thought the man was certifiable at first. It took a while for me to see that with the amount of money this man was worth any woman looking to get paid would be willing to take every bit of disrespect he was dishing out. He was just adjusting my daughter to her new position in life as his property. The poor deluded puppy was so off the mark! Can we say “history”? I have no doubt this man will make some woman seeking to attain legal whoredom very happy – and a few more lawyers too. What irks me is the boldness, the sheer utter nerve these women have in not only loudly proclaiming what they are, a covert whore, but in actually advising other young women to go thou and do likewise. “Oh yes, dear, you really are foolish to be so easy. He has plenty of cash. Make him pay. Why I have my man well trained – not even married yet and I already have a condo and a Beemer and would you look at this ring he got me last week? Of course the first one he got me would never do, but I got him to trade it up.” I am stunned each time I hear a woman not only bragging about being nothing but a trophy, but actually recommending that others relegate their sole value on this planet to that alone. Is womanhood really to be reduced to this? Is our value in this world to be solely judged by how perfect our hair and teeth and nails are and how good we look on our husband’s arm? Where are the snarling gnashing hordes of man-hating feminists? Why aren’t they taking these women to task for such obvious degradation of what it is to be a worthwhile human being in this world? I’m not saying we must throw all sense of sexually oriented aesthetics to the wind and I’m not advocating some gender neutral utopia, but daammn ladies, have some pride in what YOU do, not in how much money the man you managed to attract makes. Take down that “for sale” sign. It’s making the whole neighborhood look shabby. PowerHe said that he would be the boss That is what he said before The need for peace in every male At end of day he’ll clean the lot The returning warrior’s special glow But the glow dies slowly now His need to be recognized Immediate details sculpt her life This is power unalloyed The power is there, she tries to hide
Gender LiesWomen and men have got to be loving this battle of the sexes. I refuse to believe that either one of them, with the exception of a few individuals that never seem to make headlines, has any true interest in equality. Deep down they are doing everything within their power to maintain gender inequality, women even more so than men. How does that equate to the feminist line of equal rights for all? “Equal rights require equal responsibilities.” This is a no-brainer statement right up there with, “Men and women think and act differently.” How much research money and hours have been devoted to discovering that gem? Stated in general terms, you’d be hard pressed to find an argument on either, but anyone stating the same concept with specific details dealing with a real situation will face a verbal lynch mob in seconds. Men do complain about this, but I’ve ceased buying their complaints as they so frequently come in the form of a masculinized rehash of the feminist victimological line. Ha! How’s that for made up terminology – pretty snazzy, donchya think? In short, they’re trying to stake out a claim to a right to special treatment by way of their gender – covert power masquerading as victimhood. Are you sick of it? You should be, especially if you have children or plan to live long enough to see our present crop of kids grow into adults. We’ve got a huge bill coming due. Let’s start with women’s rights since that’s the one most agreed upon as needed and overdue – and it is, but what is being promoted as a quest for equality by women today is anything but. I want equal rights – as a woman, not as a pseudo man. My body is different from a man’s. I find it necessary to point that out simply because our latest batch of feminists are functioning on the apparent belief that that difference does not matter, except when it grants women reasons why they should be hired on a job they are not physically able to do. Then it’s “Well you can’t expect a woman to be able to do that, we’re weaker, so you have to bend the rules.” Can I just point out here that there are men who aren’t all that physically strong as well – if they don’t get the job they are not able to do why should a woman? I’m not thrilled with the idea of being rescued from the third floor of a burning building by a female firefighter who was hired despite the fact that she is incapable of carrying me over her shoulder down the stairs. So what’s she going to do, pull me out Winnie the Pooh style with my head going bump, bump, bump down each step? Or do I just get to stay there and fry? We’ve had some real screw-ups thanks to this quest to render everyone equal – petite woman cop overpowered by large male prisoner who then escapes – oops, they gave her the job but neglected to handicap the prisoner sufficiently. Dirty Harry said it best: A man’s got to know his limitations. We are not equipped to be anything we want to be. I am a 5’ 8” 59 year old woman. I can not play pro football. I know someone who does and watching him play it looks like something that I’d love, but if I put every bit of my effort into that for the rest of my life I would never make it. I can’t do it, not with this body! If he were to put every bit of effort into accomplishing one of the things I’ve done – giving birth to 6 children, I’ll tell you right now it wouldn’t work. We need to be honest and recognize that some limitations are imposed by the type of body we possess, whether that be short, tall, sick, healthy, young, old, male or female. It’s the physical universe, people. You can sit there and declare that it’s all just an agreed upon reality – and you’d be right, but that’s the reality we are living at this time. You don’t like it – quit planet earth and go play in a different reality. Oh shit – that sounded too much like, “If you don’t like this country go live in Russia,” didn’t it? Eh, this site ain’t called “Rantings” for nothin’ Responsibility carries with it a loss of protections. For a grown childless woman that is fine, and it should be such, but women still bear children. We still breast feed those children despite the corporations that make baby formula’s best efforts to stop us, and children still do best growing up in a close, stable family with a mom they can run to when needed. Why not dad? Because most dads aren’t as well suited to that role, that’s why. Because there are such things as careers, because reality bites – get over it. Guys say they would love to stay home with the kids and there are some who are actually good at the mind-numbing art of juggling poopy diapers, full vacuum cleaner bags, a sink of dirty dishes, homework overdue, dinner that refuses to cook itself and the plumber at the door. I know one man who is incredible at it, but even he didn’t choose it – he was tricked into it. It’s maddening work. It’s lonely work. It’s frequently brainless work and it is the most important work there is. Actually giving birth physically to a child creates a pathway in the mind that makes it easier to endure and excel at that job – at least it does when it is a minimally interfered with birth. From what I’ve seen, I’m not convinced the same happens for women who have been “delivered” of their children. Before you start the lynch mob, labor room staff, I didn’t say I’m right on that – I just said I’m not convinced. Chill! The fact that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world is being forgotten and along with that the protections that should be extended to mothers. Our children are our future. How they are raised affects how we will live decades from now. Their welfare should take precedence over all other considerations. In the old days there were rules. You protected women and children first. You would lay down your life for the safety of our future as a species. Not now. Now we have men who declare that it’s not fair that women are saved first from a sinking ship, making men the expendable gender. Men should not be expendable. I guess the women and men should take the lifeboats and let the kids stay on board to handle things as best they can. News flash: As soon as children come into the picture, all adults are expendable. Who the hell do you think is going to take care of you if you survive to old age – other feeble old farts like yourself? The way our children are valued now is directly related to how you will be treated later. If such a hypothetical ship existed with my partner and me on it, along with our children, and the lifeboats could not take us all, I’d want to be the one who would stay behind. I’d rather fight for my life knowing my partner and children are safe than live by making the choice between them – and choosing the welfare of children is the only ethical and honorable choice, by the way. Consequently, what I’d want would not matter, because a man with any balls would feel the same way and if I were that man’s partner and that hypothetical ship were going down, and we had the hypothetical kids to save, I’d have to acquiesce to his wishes and take the bloody hypothetical life boat with those kids. I’d hate it but my feelings are as expendable as my body when it comes to the future of the species. I just have to add this – beyond the gender issue – only a coward would choose to be the one to be saved instead of being the savior – and cowards are not needed in this world – they take up oxygen that could be better utilized elsewhere. Damn, I’m glad this is all hypothetical. Life is full of hard choices and hard realities and the realities of child-rearing are one of those. We are not here as a species because we just materialized out of thin air. Pop – oh, there’s another human – where do they keep coming from? Oh, the stork brings them. Must be a big stork. You do know that’s how we got here, right? We were born of man and woman – there was always a man and a woman somewhere in the equation, usually a very horny man and woman who weren’t thinking about gender equality on any level at that moment. We were raised because that same man and woman were willing to be expendable. They loved us enough to work and sacrifice to raise us – if we were lucky. Our mothers and fathers sacrificed their lives for the future. That’s how the planet we live on works.
Oppressor
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